Wives, Submit to Your Husbands

The biblical teaching on submission in marriage, particularly in Ephesians 5:22, “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord,” is often misunderstood. However, when properly understood, it presents a model of love, respect, and divine order that fosters a strong and harmonious marriage. This teaching is not about oppression but about reflecting the unity and love found in Christ’s relationship with His Church.

Why Should a Wife Submit to Her Husband? 

In a world that often equates submission with weakness, the biblical call for a wife to submit to her husband may seem outdated or controversial. However, when properly understood, submission is not about inferiority or blind obedience but about embracing God’s divine order for marriage. It is a reflection of the love, trust, and harmony that God designed for husbands and wives.

The Scriptures present marriage as a sacred covenant in which both spouses have distinct but complementary roles. The husband is called to lead his wife with care and humility, just as Christ leads the Church in love and sacrifice. In response, a wife’s submission is a willing and joyful act of faith—an expression of trust in God’s wisdom and design. This submission fosters unity, peace, and a thriving relationship when practiced according to God’s Word.

The following points will explore the biblical reasons for a wife’s submission, showing how it aligns with God’s purpose for marriage, reflects Christ’s relationship with the Church, and ultimately serves as an act of faith and obedience to God.

1. Submission Is God’s Design for Marriage 

Submission in marriage is not a human invention but a divine ordinance. St. Paul states: “For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body” (Ephesians 5:23). 

Just as Christ lovingly leads the Church, the husband is called to lead his wife with love and self-sacrifice. The wife’s submission is not about being controlled but about aligning herself with God’s intended order for a Christ-centered marriage. This reflects the beauty of God’s wisdom in designing marriage to function with harmony and unity.

2. Submission Reflects the Church’s Relationship with Christ 

Marriage is a living illustration of Christ and the Church: “As the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything” (Ephesians 5:24). 

As the Church submits to Christ’s leadership in trust and obedience, so a wife is called to trust and support her husband’s leadership. This is not about blind obedience but about cultivating a relationship that mirrors the love and devotion found in the Gospel.

3. Submission Is an Act of Faith and Obedience to Christ 

St. Paul clarifies that submission is “as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22). This means that a wife’s submission is not ultimately about her husband but about her faith in God. By following God’s design, she demonstrates her trust in His wisdom and care. This requires faith, especially in moments of difficulty, but it is a way to honor God in her marriage.

4. Submission Creates a Loving and Harmonious Marriage 

When biblical submission is coupled with a husband’s selfless love, marriage flourishes. Ephesians 5:25 commands husbands to love their wives “just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” Submission is not a one-sided demand; it functions within a relationship where both husband and wife serve each other in love. When a wife respects her husband’s leadership, and he leads with humility and care, their marriage thrives in unity.

5. Submission Is Not Inferiority but a Reflection of God’s Order 

In Galatians 3:28, St. Paul affirms that men and women are equal in Christ. Biblical submission does not suggest inferiority; rather, it reflects complementary roles. Just as Christ submits to the Father while being one with the Father and ought to be honored as the Father (John 5:19, 23, 1 Corinthians 11:3), so a wife submits to her husband while being one with him and ought to be honored as him. God’s design for marriage is about unity, not oppression.

How Should a Wife Submit to Her Husband? 

Understanding why a wife should submit to her husband according to God’s design is essential, but it is equally important to understand how this submission should be practiced in a Christ-honoring way. Biblical submission is not about passivity, fear, or inferiority but about embracing God’s wisdom in marriage with love, respect, and faith.

True submission is a voluntary and joyful act of trust in God, flowing from a heart that desires to honor Him. It is expressed in practical ways—through respect, encouragement, and support—and is always balanced with a wife’s dignity, discernment, and devotion to God. Submission does not mean remaining silent or accepting wrongdoing; rather, it means walking in wisdom, trusting in God’s sovereignty, and seeking His strength in all circumstances.

The following points outline how a wife can practice biblical submission in a way that reflects love, faith, and godly wisdom, ensuring that her marriage flourishes in harmony and Christlike unity.

1. Submission with a Willing and Loving Heart 

Submission is not to be forced but given in love and faith: “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18).

A wife should submit not out of fear or obligation but with a joyful heart, knowing she is ultimately serving God. Her submission is an act of trust in God’s divine plan.

2. Submission with Respect and Encouragement 

St. Paul emphasizes respect as essential in marriage: “Each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:33). 

Respect is the foundation of biblical submission. A wife’s words and actions should affirm her husband’s leadership, strengthening and encouraging him rather than belittling or undermining him. Proverbs describes a godly wife as one who “deals bountifully with him for good and not evil” (Proverbs 31:12).

3. Submission by Supporting His Leadership, Not Competing with It 

A wife is created to be a helper to her husband (Genesis 2:18), which means providing wisdom, counsel, and support. Biblical submission does not mean remaining silent or passive—it means actively participating in the marriage while allowing the husband to take the final leadership responsibility. A strong marriage is built when both spouses work together in unity rather than in competition.

4. Submission with Trust in God, Even When the Husband Is Not Perfect 

No husband leads perfectly. However, St. Peter encourages wives to influence their husbands not through nagging or criticism but through godly conduct: “You wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives” (1 Peter 3:1). 

A wife’s faithfulness, respect, and prayerful patience can often have a more profound impact on her husband’s heart than arguments or complaints.

5. Submission by Recognizing the Limits of Submission 

Biblical submission never requires a wife to tolerate sin or abuse. If a husband leads in a way that contradicts God’s Word, the wife’s ultimate loyalty is to God: “We must obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29).

If a husband is abusive or demands sinful actions, a wife should seek godly counsel and protection. Submission never means enabling sin but rather honoring God’s moral standards.

6. Submission through Prayer and Seeking Strength from God 

Submission requires spiritual strength, humility, and wisdom. A wife should pray for her husband and for God’s grace to honor her role faithfully: “A woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised” (Proverbs 31:30). 

 

Her ultimate strength and security come from God, not merely from her marriage. A godly wife finds her identity and purpose in God, which empowers her to live out His design with joy and confidence.

Conclusion 

The biblical call for a wife to submit to her husband is not about subjugation but about love, trust, and divine order. It is a reflection of Christ’s relationship with the Church, a model of unity, harmony, and selfless devotion. When rightly understood, submission fosters a marriage where both husband and wife thrive in their God-given roles, creating a relationship rooted in respect, sacrificial love, and mutual support.

A wife submits to her husband because it is God’s design for marriage, a structure established for order and peace. Her submission mirrors the Church’s willing surrender to Christ’s loving leadership, illustrating the beauty of divine harmony. This act of trust honors God and strengthens the marital bond, fostering an environment where love flourishes and unity prevails.

Submission, however, is not passive obedience but an active expression of faith. A wife submits with a willing and joyful heart, not out of fear but out of trust in God’s wisdom. She respects and encourages her husband, affirming his role as the leader of their home. Her support does not mean silence or passivity but rather a partnership where she contributes with wisdom, grace, and discernment, reinforcing his leadership rather than competing with it. Even when her husband falls short, she chooses to trust God, knowing that her gentle and faithful character can be a testimony of Christ’s transforming power.

Yet, submission has its limits; it never requires a wife to endure sin or abuse. Her ultimate obedience is to God, and when a husband leads in a way that contradicts His Word, she must stand firm in righteousness. In every aspect, submission is sustained by prayer, seeking God’s strength and wisdom to walk faithfully in her role.

When both husband and wife embrace their biblical roles, marriage becomes a living testimony of Christ’s love and unity. A godly wife does not submit out of obligation but out of love for Christ, trusting that God’s design for marriage leads to true joy, peace, and spiritual blessing.

For Further Reading

For a deeper exploration of biblical principles on marriage, family roles, and God’s design for a Christ-centered home, consider reading my book, “The Christian Family: A Biblical Perspective.” This book provides a comprehensive study on the foundation of a godly marriage, the roles of husbands and wives, and the spiritual dynamics of family life according to Scripture.

Available on Amazon, this resource will help you build a marriage and family that honors God and reflects His love.

Fr. Abraam Sleman

frsleman@Copticchurch.net

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