Marriage: A Covenant of Love, Not Violence

With a heavy heart and deep sorrow, I address the reality of domestic violence, a grievous sin that not only destroys families but also wounds the body of Christ. When one member suffers, we all suffer (1 Corinthians 12:26). The loss of love, trust, and safety in a marriage through violence is a tragedy that grieves us all. My prayers and heartfelt sympathy go out to all who are suffering under the weight of such injustice. May God, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort, strengthen and uphold them in their time of distress.

Violence within marriage is not merely a crime against an individual—it is a grave violation of the sacred covenant that God Himself established as one of love, faithfulness, and honor. A husband is called to cherish his wife, not to harm her; to protect, not to oppress; to love, not to destroy. The Scriptures are unequivocal: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25, NASB).

The love that Christ demonstrated for His church was sacrificial, seeking her sanctification and well-being, never her harm. Any act of violence against one’s wife is a direct rebellion against this divine command and a betrayal of the covenant of marriage.

God has spoken clearly against treachery within marriage. In the days of the prophet Malachi, men were dealing unfaithfully with their wives, casting them aside in favor of others. God rebuked them sharply, reminding them that He Himself is a witness to the sacred bond of marriage: “Yet you say, ‘For what reason?’ Because the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant” (Malachi 2:14, NASB).

Marriage is not merely a social contract; it is a divine covenant. To betray one’s wife—whether through unfaithfulness, abandonment, or violence—is to defy God Himself. He sees every act of mistreatment, and He holds the unfaithful husband accountable.

To raise a hand against one’s wife is not only an act of wickedness against her but also against God, who stands as the witness to the marriage covenant. Such violence is direct defiance of God’s law, which calls husbands to treat their wives with honor: “You husbands, in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life so that your prayers will not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7, NASB).

No man who abuses his wife can stand before God with clean hands. No prayer of such a man will be heard unless there is repentance and a turning away from such sin.

As the church, we must grieve with those who suffer, but we must also stand firmly against all forms of abuse and violence. I call upon all husbands: If you have any anger, bitterness, or tendency toward violence, do not let sin rule over you! Seek help, seek counsel, and above all, seek God’s grace to transform your heart. Let the love of Christ reign in your home, and let your marriage reflect the love He has for His church.

To any woman suffering in silence, I urge you: You are not alone. You are beloved by God, and He sees your suffering. Seek safety, seek help, and know that the church stands ready to support and protect you.

May this be a wake-up call for all to uphold the sanctity of marriage, protect the dignity of wives, and reject all forms of abuse and violence. May God bring healing to the wounded and repentance to the hearts of those who have strayed.

Hegumen Abraam Sleman
Saint Mark Coptic Orthodox Church, Jersey City

frsleman@CopticChurch.net

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